


You and I, blurred lines

by zaynscheekbones



Series: Wildest Moments [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7759876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynscheekbones/pseuds/zaynscheekbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of a sudden they're not just friends anymore, and Jiyong doesn't know what to make of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I, blurred lines

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first in a series of gtop one shots following the lyrics of 'Wildest moments' by Jessie Ware. Targeting the very niche demographic of people into both jessie ware and big bang haha.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMJkddvJ4L4

Their bodies melt together at night, under sweaty sheets and hotel air conditioning systems that Jiyong can never use properly. It doesn’t matter where they start off on the bed because their bodies come together like opposite ends of magnets anyway, waking up with elbows and knees digging into backs and chests. Jiyong wonders if Seunghyun can hear his heart thumping against his ribcage, or feel the semi-boner pressing into his leg. Wonders when it became so normal for them to wake up pressed against each other, to wake up not knowing where his body ends and Seunghyun’s begins.

 

If asked, they’re best friends. But both are acutely aware that best friends don’t do this, something that everyone from Youngbae to Kush is kind enough to point out. He’s also pretty sure you aren’t meant to feel this way about your best friend, best friends aren’t supposed to make you feel like your heart will jump out of your chest, or wank over thoughts of each other in the shower.

 

The air between them is thick with unspoken words, so thick that Jiyong almost can’t think when he’s around Seunghyun. It’s like the smog that sometimes clouds the city, his vision blurs and the thoughts in his head become a jungle. They’ve gone from sharing cigarettes to stolen glances and lingering touches, hitched breaths and a silence so loud it makes Jiyong’s ears ring. It reaches the point where YG calls them both into his office and asks them, in a voice that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, whether anything was happening between them. Jiyong chokes on his words and, before he can stop himself, he’s protesting a little too much and his face has gone a little too red. He sneaks a glance at Seunghyun before they leave the office, Seunghyun who still hasn’t said a word, to find the older man staring back at him, with furrowed eyebrows and a look in his eyes that sticks with Jiyong for days afterwards.

 

He stops going into Seunghyun’s hotel room after that. Stops drinking with the boys, stops staying in the studio until the late hours. This then turns into actively avoiding him, turning around and walking the other way if he sees Seunghyun and spending his lunch breaks in seedy cafés that he knows the other would never step in.

 

All the while he tells himself that this is _better,_ that at least he knows where he stands with Seunghyun now. Repeats to himself that they’re just friends, and that friends don’t need to spend every waking minute together. He ignores the weird feeling in his stomach every time he turns away from Seunghyun, supresses the constant ache that’s taken root in his stomach, winding through his body like branches of a tree.

 

But all it takes is a glance from Seunghyun and Jiyong’s carefully constructed façade comes tumbling down.

 

There’s no doubt about it; he’s in love. He thought he’d been in love before, with his year 9 teacher Kim Hi, but he doesn’t remember it feeling like this. Doesn’t remember feeling sick when he looked at her from across the canteen, waking up thinking about her or falling asleep with her on his mind. But he’s a guy, and Seunghyun is also a guy. They have too many Y chromosomes to be acceptable in Korea, something that Teddy used to tell him in the studio, after hours being stuck in a room with him and Seunghyun. He’d always laugh it off, but Teddy would fix him with a serious look and pursed lips.

 

 

 

 

 

If this were a K-drama, Jiyong would grow some balls and speak to Seunghyun. They would kiss in the rain and Jiyong would rest his head on Seunghyun’s chest. But this isn’t a K-drama, and Jiyong doesn’t grow balls. He pushes his feelings deep down, because admitting them makes them real. Admitting them is tantamount to losing everything he’s worked for, everything he’s built up himself. He throws himself into his work instead, starts projects and melodies and avoids Seunghyun like the plague. Throws himself into drinks with friends and the beds of girls he’ll never speak to again.

 

This goes on for months, until he has more empty bottles of Jack Daniels and strangers’ underwear than he can count on two hands. Then Youngbae’s birthday rolls along, and within a few hours he’s smashed and clinging onto Seunghyun’s arm. He hears himself ask Seunghyun why it has to be so complicated, why they can’t just be _like they used to_. And he also hears Seunghyun, with a voice so sharp it could cut glass, saying that he’ll un-complicate it for Jiyong, saying that _they’re not friends._

 

He deserves it, he knows he deserves it, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spend the rest of the night sobbing, hunched over Seungri’s toilet bowl.

 

 

 

 

 

It ends up being a CF that finally brings them together again, and he arrives with his stomach in knots and his nails bleeding at the cuticles. Seunghyun offers him a small smile and Jiyong knows Seunghyun like the back of his hand, knows that he’s accepting Jiyong’s apology before he’s even given it. And it’s likely he’s just doing it for the sake of the group, but Jiyong takes it and runs with it.

 

It doesn’t go back to the way things were before, not straight away at least. Seunghyun is guarded and tired, sick of taking crap from Jiyong. They’re firmly back in _friends_ territory, back to sharing cigarettes and inside jokes, back to heading to their respective hotel rooms alone and waking up with the other half of the bed empty.

 

Again, he doesn’t even realise its happening, but they slowly fall into a routine of falling asleep in the same bed, waking up with arms tucked underneath each other and too little clothes on. It doesn’t take long for a drunken night and wandering hands, bodies pressed slightly too close to each other on the dance floor and eyes that linger on lips for a little bit too long. Before he knows it he’s whispering to Seunghyun that he likes him, like _really likes him._

Seunghyun responds by pressing him up against the walls of a urinal, leaving marks on his neck that wont fade for the next few weeks.

 

 _I don’t want to just be friends,_ Seunghyun tells him that same night, in between gasps. His hands are gripping Jiyong’s hair and his breath hitches in all the right places. _I don’t think we’ve ever just been friends,_ he replies.


End file.
